To Ph.D. or Not to Ph.D?

Convictions...

I'm dying to go back to school! I sincerely miss having academic community and learning, studying in an organized, structured fashion. I LOVE school and I always have. After completing my first day of kindergarten I told my mom, "Pack my bags. I want to live at the school!" I was dead serious. I fell in love the moment I stepped in the door and nothing has ever changed. I LOVE to learn. I LOVE to discover. And I believe it's time to take the next formal step in my academic career.

Complications...

I live in Smalltown, USA. The university nearest me doesn't offer doctorate the programs I'm most interested in or believe would most fit my career goals. I would like to pursue a doctorate of philosophy in either education, educational psychology, or diverse learning. I believe completing such study would prepare me to achieve my goal of developing prototypes of schools that cater intentionally, and acutely to students' respective learning styles, placing them in classrooms with teachers who have been trained to teach to a particular learning style. For example, kinetic learners would be placed in classrooms with teachers who know how to keep it movin'. My theory is that by placing each child in a classroom tailored to their specific academic needs, each child will be given maximum opportunity to learn and in turn maximum opportunity to fulfill their potential. I do not know if completing my doctorate in educational leadership and organizational development will afford the same opportunites. I feel stuck.

I know what I want to do, but don't know how to get there.

Confessions...

I'm afraid. Afraid of nothing working out. Afraid that if I were accepted, I'd have trouble keeping up with students in my cohort, most of whom already have their master's degrees. Afraid of not being able to finance my efforts. Afraid of choosing the wrong program. Afraid.... Afraid of being wrong about pursuing this dream. I've always loved school, but struggled through undergrad. I've wanted a fresh academic start for some time now, but could never find a master's program that completely fit my likings. I'd given up on pursuing further education, at least while living here, but had this dream during my church's annual fast at the beginning of the year. I spent a lot of time talking to God and hearing from Him. And He spent a lot of time speaking to me. As is customary, He spoke to me in my dreams. During the fast I dreamt that I'd been trying to figure out which master's degree to pursue, but couldn't make a decision, I wasn't satisfied with anything offered. I then saw myself pursuing my doctorate. It was a Ph.D. that I was to pursue, at this time in my life. Great! Finally, that was my answer. I was to pursue my Ph.D. in.... Back to complications. What if I'm wrong? What if I didn't hear from God? What if it was just...a dream? I'm afraid.

Concessions...

This isn't the first time I've been passionate about something. This isn't the first time I've been afraid of pursuing something I'm passionate about. This isn't the first time I've had to take a step in faith, while afraid. I may not be able to shake the fear, but I will not allow it to hold me back. I will further investigate the program. I will meet with an advisor. I will risk.

Sex on the Brain a la Steve Harvey

I, like everyone else, know that comedian, entertainer, and self-proclaimed "expert on manhood," Steve Harvey* may say
N. E. Thing.

Tact isn't his specialty.

On a recent episode of the Trinity Broadcasting Network's Praise the Lord program, our beloved Steve said something about sex that absolutely shocked me. I expected him to be raw and real, but I had no idea he was so ignorant. The statement that got me, went a little something like this:

"I believe in the no sex before marriage thing, but we know ain't nobody doin' that...."

Urrrrr...? Say what? NO ONE, NOBODY is saving sex for marriage? Really? Has it come to this?

He went on to admonish CHRISTIAN women, people who are supposed to observe God's standard of sexless singleness, to follow his 90 day rule. Since NONE of them are gonna make it to the altar before making it to bed, they should make their men wait 90 days before extending their benefits package, read sex. With the Ford Motor Company as their model, they should place their men on a 3 month probation period in which the women can fully observe and investigate a man's life, checking for inconsistencies and whatnot, before granting him access to the goods. (We'll come back to that word, inconsistencies, a little later.)

Upon hearing this, I proceeded to buck my eyes, shake my head, and eventually write this blog.

Convo in my head sounded like this:

"Steve is SO wrong and his advice is WACK! Who made him an expert on singleness and manhood?"

I posted my frustration with his statement on Facebook and received 3 replies expressing the following:

"That's sad Sis, keep holiding it down for those of us who didn't make it."

-Bestie.

"That's not true. Some people are saving sex for marriage. Some are even saving their first kisses. I feel priveleged to teach people to maintain their purity."

-Abstinence Educator

"Makes me glad I'm not single...in this messed up world. Sounds like we're holding up the world's standard and not God's."

-Married Mom of Three

Make no mistake, singleness, in the context of a sometimes marriage-obsessed culture, is no walk in the park. Singleness, in the context of Christianity, in the context of unmet sexual desire, is a walk in the DESERT.

But it is a walk that we can take, a journery that we can finish. Success lies in learning to lean on God, learning to trust in His Word. He promised to never leave us or forsake us. He'll be with us through every ordered step. His strength is made perfect in our weakness and He will give us the grace, the ability, to live sex-free lives in a sex-crazed world.

We can do all things through Christ who strengthens us. It is possible to save sex for marriage.

Some of us are doing it right now. Striving everyday to live lives of adherence to God's Word. Working diligiently to rid ourselves of inconsistencies that would result in counterfeit Christianity.

Lemme drop a few names...

-John Gray, Comedian, Singer, Playwright

-Lindsey Isham, Author, Purity Activist

-Natalie Witherspoon, Teacher, Youth-Advocate, Resident Blogger


Feel free to add to my list as well as any other thoughts in my comments section.

*As an act of solidarity with myself, I've decided that you'll have to google Steve if you want to see his pic or learn more about his book.

Sex on the Brain

For about a year, I've been serving with a prison ministry that also visits a local juvenile detention center. This experience has truly enriched my life and has been nothing but a BLESSING! Through my time at Juvy the Lord has gifted me with community and grown my teaching ministry. My primary role is to share the Word of God with the kids, to teach them, but they always end up schoolin' me.

Today's lesson title was Counterfeits. We spent a brief time defining the term and naming counterfeits we commonly use including cubic zirconia in place of diamonds, store brand pop (or soda, depending on where you're from) instead of Coke or Pepsi, and monopoly money versus actual Benjamins. We talked about Satan's desire to entice us, to trap us, to snare us, to entangle us in web's of perverse fulfillment of our God-given desires,to use this evil fulfillment to transform us into counterfeits. Thankfully, the conversation quickly turned to sex.

As always, it started with thoughts. The question was posed, "Is it a sin to have sexual thoughts?" I went on to explain that an initial sexual thought would not be considered a sin. (Please feel free to refute this in the comments section.) The problem (sin) would be maintaining these thoughts, dwelling on them, allowing them to, in the words of my 11th grade English teacher, marinate. The boys understood the concept. A bird may hover above your head, perhaps even lay an egg, but you shouldn't allow it to build a nest there. Ok, cool. But what about sex? Does God really expect us to abstain from sex until marriage? The Goodfellas weren't really "feelin' that."

I went on to explain that like every other area of our lives, God has a plan for our sexuality. He has given sexuality and sexual desire to us and they are good gifts. Like all other gifts God expects us to use them to bring Him glory, to make Him famous. Like all other gifts, God has provided guidelines and parameters for their use. Like all other gifts, Satan WORKS to get us to exercise our sexuality, to fulfill sexual desire outside of these boundaries. He tries to make us-people who claim to follow Jesus, people who confess Christ's Lordship or leadership of our lives-Counterfeits.

With the boys' eyes widened, I proceeded to discuss ways that Satan specifically tries to trap men with regards to the abuse of sex. We surveyed Proverbs 5 & 7 where we learned valuable lessons like Girls Got Game, Too, Taste It and Die, Run, Forrest, Run, and Keep Your Butt at Home.

With loads of humor we made it through our lesson and determined that sex is good, at least that's what they tell me, sex is powerful, and sex has rules. It is Satan's job to get us to disobey and succumb to sexual temptation. But with the help of the Holy Spirit, through hiding God's Word in our hearts, through resisting temptation, we CAN live sexually PURE lives.

Got my toes stepped on!

To Be Continued.